Good Evening, or Good Morning, whatever you want to call after midnight. Alex and just got home from our little outing to celebrate her report card. On our chart that Chris and her filled out, a B+ is Chuckie Cheeses but I asked her tonight if she would like to go see a movie in place of Chuckie Cheese. She said yes. This conversation took place after we ate as a family at IHOP with Anthony, mom, dad, and adopted grandparents (Baughmans). Tonight I found pictures from Chuckie Cheese of Alex, Chris and I from last year. We actually went there for her birthday on July 1st. We didn't pay the birthday outrageous prices, we went and just had fun as a family and to also get free tokens for her good grades. (we didn't have the chart then)So I called to see the times of Night at the Museum 2 and Up were. We chose Night at the Museum which the time that we could make without missing some of it was 10:05pm. I liked the first one better but this one pointed out some things in life that are important. Like the man Larry (night guard) wanted to be an inventor and he became one but then found out the museum was going new technology and storing the historic figures away and was saddened. He realized in his journey to save them that he didn't have love of life anymore or enjoy what he did. There were things I didn't like but it is what happened history. Alex said she like Amelia Earhart the best. It made me think what do I enjoy? I used to enjoy working, but now it is more a job of stress and too much time away. I wished I still had my third shift position. I saw Alex more and took care of her without feeling guilty of being away because she was asleep. It also was just me and the pharmacist (less drama and stress).

Do you ever wonder why God makes us so different? So unique in our qualities of gifts? Do you ever feel bad because it seems like all you do is talk about the bad in your life or the person you lost to illness? Do you ever wonder if your thoughts are from the heart or the loneliness inside? Will you ever stop talking about your hurts? Do we ever get over comparing ourselves to others? It would be nice if the answers were the same for all but we are beautifully and wonderfully made how God our Savior visioned us to be. And some questions are not meant to be answered either. So we just live the life of fullness of Jesus and smile in His love for one another for the person he or she is. I am lucky to have people in my life that is not judging or criticizing or demeaning me or my thoughts or my gifts.

Many of you think and have even asked me, does my counselor and financial advisor or lawyer ever asked me if I should downsize and get a smaller house or apartment. The answer is no, they know better, I believe, because for 1 the house probably wouldn't sell due to the economy, 2 I wouldn't get near to what it is worth, and 3 they know this house was drawn by Chris (addition and remodel of room, which is more than half the house) and Alex and I want the memories of our life together here in our home. We have had very crowded Thanksgiving dinners here and even a nice relaxed Thanksgiving here as well. We've had birthday parties here that even gave those who don't like large crowds to feel comfortable. Yes, it may be a pinched budget to do but Alex and I have talked and we are okay with that. She doesn't mind not doing many things she used to do with her dad, so we can keep the house and she understands I have to work as well. I do try to do fun things with her and we have friends at Putt-Putt that give us free tokens for arcade and we have friends at the mall to ride the carousel for free. There is biking and walking as well. We have movie night as well. Her great grades provided 8 free movie vouchers for a free rental.

Well, it's almost 1am and I have to be at a friends house at 10am to help make food for her daughter's open house for graduation that is Sunday. I can't believe how time has flown by. I babysat her daughter when she was 2 and now she is 18 and graduated. Alex and I also need to go to the mall and get her a gift. Her mom told us she wants shower gels and lotions for college. So mom and I are going in on Bath and Body products.

Hope you have a great weekend. Take care, and keep praising God. I am praising him for 21 days of freedom of my bad habit. And my counselor even told me she thinks it is not for the addiction but for the comfort of remembering Chris. Which is true to a point. When he was alive it was to escape the pain I was feeling. My God help you with whatever you are needing help on. He is faithful in His time!!! Good night or morning, it is 1am.

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!!!!!