Good Evening, I hope you are doing well. These past few weeks I have seen God working in my life and decisions. Keep praying though as I have more decisions in store for what God has in store for us. I am looking forward to the reunion. My counseling went well last night but I am so amazed how well I took the voicemails I got today from a certain someone. If I wanted to destroy her life with her husband I could but I am not going to. I am still going to not show her the letter from Chris either because I do not want her to feel hurt. I am finally at peace with everything. I am just trusting God as He guides me in His way as I step out in faith.

Tonight my parents and I and Alex went and saw G-force. I think they liked it but it was not one of my movies. I thought it looked good in previews but I was not intrigued.

I pray that Sarah and Don are getting the truck packed for their trip and I pray that their road trip will be smooth and peaceful. I pray that this will be a time of relaxing and just being together making great memories as a family. I thank you God for your hand in everything and being here all the time for me. You are so wonderful and worthy of my praise. I love you.

I wasn't going to write today so whoever doesn't get on everyday can see the letter Chris wrote when Alex was born. However, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to a friend/cousin today. My gift to her is I thought of her today on many occassions and Alex and I had no cavaties. So, Sarah, I hope you enjoyed your peace and quiet and was able to relax. Praying for you and your clan and hope you have a safe trip to Michigan. Happy Sweet 30 over again!!! :) I love you!!

Letter to Alex from Her Dad!

Ms. Alexandra Strack,
Wow, you have just been born, about 5 hours now.

I wish I could put into words the way I feel. Watching you enter the world... 6 pounds 14 ounces 19 1/2 inches yelling, looking, kicking... There was 3 nurses weighing and making sure you had everything you were supposed to have. You did! and as I watched I was filled with pride, love and maybe a job well done!

Your Mother was fantastic.

She and I had many discussions on how the labor of you was to be done, But.. with alot of love and patience it all worked out (even better than I thought)!

There is soo much I'm afraid of. It's mostly about you and your life. I want all the best for you. I want you (you is underlined) to know all the love (love is underlined) that surrounds you, today and always.

There is soo much to teach and learn. (on both parts).

I guess, the most important thing to know is... I love you! Your mother loves you.


So here is the only advice I can give to you.

Take the best things in life and make them part of you, There will always be bad and hurt, learn from it, but it will (will is underlined) go away, keep the love.

I don't know if you will ever read this?

The time is 6:45pm July 1,2000

You are 4 hours and 43 minutes old.

You are already perfect...

O.K. no ones perfect.

You are the next best thing.

Love, POP.
then his signature


When I found this last night and read it again for the second time (first was when she was born) I cried because there is hurt and bad mostly and he tells her to stay strong and it will go away. His death was hurtful and bad but we are making it apart of our life and the pain is going away and we are focusing on the love like it said.
I only added the pictures. The () was his unless I described how a word was.

Thank you God for not having Chris throw it away like I thought he did. I love you Chris for not throwing it away.

This is a continuation of today. I went to my parents and helped with beans. Alex found out she likes them raw. I only like them after being canned. There was 3 buckets full before it rained and probably 3 more to still pick. I got there around 3and left around 7:30. During snapping them the grandparents and grandchildren had a family meeting. The communication was great and no one got upset and they worked as a team on their agenda. It was nice to just sit there and listen to them. Bart was a big help helping pick the beans. Alex kept saying when will we be done and how long have we been doing this. I said all summer and just think what I had to do when I was your age when the garden was bigger.

Today was a victory, because after the crying came the peace and joy for the rest of the day. I had to drive in a bad storm home but I got home safely. For the past month I have been cleaning out the basement of boxes, on Sundays since trash is Mondays, of things Chris packed down there so no one knew he was a pack rat. (organized though :) ) I was so happy and relieved tonight because since his death I have been searching for 2 items, my card I sent him early for Valentines day that he recieved the day we got our pictures and he said he needed it, and Alex's letter he wrote when she was born that he asked for in Nov or Dec and didn't put back in her baby book. Tonight I found the most important one and that was her letter. I found it in a box that seemed to be trash on top from when he was cleaning down there after the remodel. I also found the original book that Alex made her dad of their adventures together. For the memorial we put another one together (mom had kept it on her computer) since we couldn't find it. It was packed with other books from when we boxed things up so we could remodel.

So thank you God for your love and helping me today. I pray for tomorrow morning as I have Sue before work. I pray for the Woolever clan as well that their meeting will go well.

God is good. I met my friend Janet for breakfast at IHOP that is across from my church after dropping Alex off for Sunday School. She helped me a lot, I thought by talking to her before church my frustration would not be as bad but it was. Somehow God will see this through He always does.

God also had someone call me at a great time today when I needed to hear comforting words and wisdom and to let me know that some of what the enemy is throwing at me is under the blood of Jesus already. So I am not going to let the enemy win by just coasting or walking around these issues.

God is good. I am now going to help my parents with beans from the garden since they help me out with Alex and I eat them as well.