Its three in the morning and I am still wide awake. God has been great and friends and family has helped me to find my happiness again. This past week has been great. I went out yesterday morning and measured the snow that we still have and it was thirteen inches. I think this is the first time in a long time I have had snow on the ground on my birthday. It is ok though because God makes all things beautiful including His children.

I am sorry Alex for not taking your hand when you wanted me to during the movie. I truly do love you and adore you. Please forgive me for not taking your hand when you reached for me. Please know God is always there when you reach out to Him. He won't ever fail you. I will do my best to do better.

My review was today and it went well. Charlotte wrote that I am very pleasant to work with and with customers and that I always have a smile and am outgoing. Many friends say she described me to the tee. She later trusted me to write the months review which she does and she was pleased on what I said so she published it. I felt great.

Thank you God for giving me my life back of happiness and confidence. I will use it for Your glory. Thank you for making Iowa feel at home for me. It is great to live here. The people here are great, the woman's bible study group, co-workers and the crossroads assembly of God church gang are the bomb. I look forward to going to work and to church and to meet with the ladies. Couldn't ask for anything more right now until God wants to do more.

My 31st birthday

Today I woke up joyful and feeling beautiful. For the first time in a long time I felt like living life fully and in the moment and for the future rather than focusing on the past. I smiled and laughed alot today. God blessed me with a beautiful sunshiny day. A co-worker made cupcakes for my birthday which were yummi and it was a slow and relaxing day at work so had a few. I even got flowers today. Sarah surprised me with a small arrangement of daisies, I think, when she met me for dinner.
Delphia made me a card and Sarah and her church got me cards as well. My neighbor from IN sent me one in the mail too.
Sarah had Alex make a chocolate pie which was delicious and got to socialize with Don, Sarah and Alex after my day was complete. I even wore my own clothes, I usually wear something of Chris' on special occasions. Sarah thought I would have worn what I usually do and so she wore a beautiful blouse to match. It was a great time with her. I am thankful for this friendship and how it is blossoming. I wished I would have had my camera so we could have had a picture together. I will always have this memory.

Thank you God for such a great day and having me live life fully today. It was a great feeling and praying I keep this joyful feeling. I love you. I am truly blessed and am grateful for all You are.

Thought of you with love today,but that is nothing new.I thought about you yesterday,and days before that too.I think of you in silence,I often speak your name.All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake,with which I'll never part.God has you in his keeping,I have you in my heart. Tomorrow I celebrate my 31st birthday and I will be thinking of you missing the joy you brought. I am having a moms night out with my cousins wife Sarah, since Alex doesn't care for Red Lobster and you are not here but I will take you and her with me in my thoughts and heart. Last year I didn't feel up to celebrating but this year I am, I have lots to celebrate and to be thankful for. God has blessed me far more than I could ever think I deserved. I have friends, family, co-workers,and so much love and support surrounds me. Most of your ways I have carried on and keep getting better at. I only imagine the smiles you and God shine down for me. Life is not the same but as you would say make the best out of what you have and make each moment a happy one. I love you and I know that I will have a great birthday. Thank you.

I told you this many times and I will say it again, A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. Thank you for accepting me the way I was. I was not perfect and still not. Sometimes I was not always truthful and you still loved me. I am difficult at times as well. I took you for granited alot too. I am still working on all of these and I know I am slowly improving. God has surely blessed Alex and I and you need not to worry about us. We are in God's hands and living in love.

The one thing I took for granited was your sweet sayings that you would send with flowers. If only I would have kept more than the two I have. I have alot of them in my heart and head. Thank you for the memories.

Glory Come Down

As in a day and half it will be my 31st birthday. My birthday wish is for God's glory come down and fill this place. There are so many who need to know Him and also many who have desires that need met. I pray that the Lord will be with those who lost babies, and provide a family for those who want one and just answer the prayers of His people. I am so glad to be apart of God's family and all I need is His love. Thank God for blessing me so much and that is all I need for my birthday. So please for my birthday hear the prayers and answer them in Your timing Lord.