Today was a stressful day. It is getting harder for me to keep the faith that I have. I am praising God for the good court day for my brother Bart regarding his child Anthony. I am praying that God will grant him custody of his child so that Anthony will be able to see and feel the love of God through my family. Alex's school called me today and said she was having similar symptoms of this past weekend. They gave her Tylenol which didn't work and so I had to leave work 4 hours early to be with her. I called the doctor to get advice since she just saw him and he said it is the viral infection she is fighting. She slept 4 hours this afternoon and seems to be fine now. I hope there is not many more occurrences like this because I don't want our savings to dwindle much more. She has been healthy most of her life. My church read my email and even offered assistance but for now I declined because there are a lot of people in my church that have no jobs or worse off that need the food and money for bills. I know we can do this as long as there is no more ems rides (which Alex is still bragging about how it was so much fun) or major medical bills. I have been praying that God will allow me to be a witness to Chris' side of the family but I don't know how. They want to talk but at the same time degrade me and Chris and his feelings. I don't want to talk about things I don't know much about and I don't want to re-live Chris' death. They want to heal by talking to me but I don't feel like I can heal them. Only God can do the healing and it was their choice to not have a good relationship with him when he was alive and they choose not to know God. So I am struggling with if and when I should talk to them. I want to shine God's love but I feel right now I can't because my faith and love isn't strong enough yet, but then again feelings lie. I am blessed to have a work environment that I can leave to take care of Alex. They know I don't call off or leave without a good reason. Usually you have to be the one who is sick to get sick pay but the manager said if I remind him he will put in for 4 hours sick pay for me. I just don't know how much more I can handle. I feel God and see God often. Matter of fact Tuesday, at work, a customer who I don't know said how are you I've been praying for you. She said God told her to pray for the Walgreen's girl she has a sick child and has been through a lot. She didn't know who she was praying for she said until she pulled up to the drive thru and saw me and said God told her it was me. Then tonight my neighbor's son down the street made vegetable beef soup and his wife brought it down to us and we had a great talk. Tonight Alex and I did devotions and sang praises and we didn't want to stop she continued to sing praises and dance to God. I am so lucky to have such a blessing from God during these times. I was hoping to go for a walk tonight before I got the call from school, but there will be other days we can.

My prayer tonight is that I thank God for friends and family that support me in prayer. I pray that He will heal Alex and anyone else who is sick quickly. I thank God for His provisions in my brother and nephew's life. I pray Anthony will be able to control his tantrums and anger so he doesn't hurt anyone else. I pray Alex's bruises will heal quickly from her fall and brush in with Anthony. Thank you for this day and help tomorrow to be a better day. I love you.