Good Evening, Today we didn't get to church due to cell being in car and we overslept. Alex and I made taco salad for a funeral dinner tomorrow for someone at our church. Then I came home and slept the day away, waking up at 6pm. I am torn, I want to write a letter out of respect to a couple that is on Chris' side but I don't think my counselor would be ok with that. I wrote a rough draft and sent it to my mom to see if what I said is ok, so I guess I will see if it is meant to or not.

Someone called me today asking how we are doing financially, so far we are doing well. I haven't recieved the medical bills from Alex yet. I will get the lawyer bill in July or August so we'll see. I know we are fine and God has been very Gracious through family, friends, work and just watching over His children.

I just want to say that God has layed on my heart to say this, He is our strength, our friend (even when we don't think we have any), our provider, our healer, and our warrior. Our thoughts and feelings seem to lie to us over and over throughout the day. We are loved by family and God even when the wrong things come out and we are hurt. They didn't mean to hurt us but it did, they still love us dearly. I know you won't get over it right away, but we need to cherish the time we have left with them because you never know how long you will get with them. It's difficult, I know, because I need to listen to this as well with some family members who have hurt Chris and I. I am praying for all of you who feel this way as well. If you are like me and are an emotional eater I am praying you turn to prayer instead of food. Some of my one liners are God help me not to hold this against them. God don't let me be bitter about this. God they mean well help me to take it for the good. I love you very much!!!!! Hang in there and think the good in all we do.

I am planning on going to Michigan the weekend of Memorial Day just for Saturday probably, I want to take my nephew and my daughter on a walk to the lighthouse. That used to be my thinking spot and talking spot when I needed to get away. I need to get away and think and talk while loving God's creation. I also would like to see my family I hardly get to see.

My prayer today is that we don't hold on to hurt or wrong feelings very long. I hope our thoughts and feelings don't turn into bitterness. I thank you God for your love and grace. Help us to give you time each day and to lean on you especially when we are weak. Guide and direct our path and decisions eachday. I thank you for your wonderful promise of never leaving or forsaking us. I continue to pray for my cousin Barb's healing of cancer, put your healing hand on this cancer again. Be with their family as they are hurting like I was, seeing and feeling her in pain. Just help them to keep trusting in You and give them the strength ,that you gave me, to keep loving her more and more and assuring her that God has her in His hands. Please God let her be with her girls and husband, don't let them go through the loss of their mother/wife. I love you and trust in your plan and hear my prayer for this loved one. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!

I love you Chris, Alex says she loves you too! We love you God no matter what happens!