God's Faithfulness for giving Him praise in everything

Good Evening, I made it through my busy day. This morning was tough doing my will so that Alex won't go to the state if I die while the courts decide who should take care of her. Then my doctor didn't know that Chris had died and he always went with me. They asked where he was and then felt bad. He then gave me samples of my migraine pills so that I don't have to pay 32 dollars a pill. He even asked if I need sleeping pills and so he prescribed a script but instructed no more than 1 or 2 per week and only as needed. I said no problem, because I don't want to take them but just incase I can't sleep well for several days then I will. After the doctors I came home and did things around the house and got mail and in the mail was a letter. A month ago I filled out some papers that the principal sent home with Alex which was for a chance to receive help for 2009-2010 school tuition. I was nominated with 2 other families (which only one could get it) and the foundation chose to help me with some of Alex's tuition. I feel like maybe the other family needs it more, but that is how I am. So please help me pray for those families that God will see to their needs as well. I am so thankful for this and I praise God for answering my prayers. This is just one example of how God has been faithful to me as I continue to give Him praise no matter the circumstances or how many trials He puts on my shoulder at the same time. It also comforted me because as I am seeking advice of what I should do now or wait to do later as for projects around the house, that I feel that God has been watching me be a faithful servant and careful with money (I sometimes feel like I am not doing the right things). But we all know feelings lie and so it made me think God had this happen because He is pleased in what I am doing.

I am still struggling about why God gave this to him and why God didn't heal him, but I know God's plan is better than mine. Just look, my faith and trust has grown stronger each day and my love for God and Chris has as well. I can't remember a time that I have been so trusting and focused on God when things go differently than what I want. I feel like I am also finding who I am as a person, who I am in Christ and how much I need to bond with Alex. My prayer for the past 10 years has been to find myself and not to be who others want me to be. Also, to know who I am and not always being dependant on men.

I thank God that He helped me to control my frustration last night with Alex. I had bought a big heart balloon for Chris' memorial that says I will love you today, tomorrow and forever, and it still had life in it from Feb. (shocking uhh). Well, when I went to put Alex to bed I noticed it was not floating anymore. I asked Alex if she cut it and she said no. I said then why is there a gash in it. She said I ripped it. and she told me when I asked why that she didn't know why. She is like my twin and likes to take things apart to see how they work and not fix it, or destroy things out of fun or dislike. She is now working off the cost of another balloon. I just thank God for having me not get short with her. I am still praying that we will have that mother daughter bond, that I feel like we don't have. The love is there but not the closeness.

My prayer tonight is that God will continue to guide and direct my decisions and paths. I pray for healing of Barbara and that He will give the comfort and strength their family needs. I thank God for such loving family to have during times like Barbara and her family is having and what we had 3 months ago. The love of family gets you through and is a lifesaver for the days that are hard. I pray for those who are struggling financially, physically, emotionally that God will meet their needs and give them the peace they need. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.