My week of lows and highs (roller coaster)

Wow, what a week! I have done everything I know how to to fix the problems b/n this family member and I. I am leaving it up totally to God now instead of leaning on Him to help me fix it. I found out Thursday that I have a choice to stay or go reguarding the house. My lawyer and I decided to continue with God's plan for me to move because how the bank has been talking prior they want the house and could at the last minute decide to not have me have it. God spoke to me again through the message at church today which supports me stepping out in faith and following God and wanting to grow closer and stronger in Him. Yesterday, was a great time to talk to family and to answer questions about how God is working and living in our lives. I also feel like I have mended some miscommunication and hurts as well. Hopefully, the peace will continue in these relationships.Alex enjoyed the day Friday with Aunt Jen at Michigan Adventure and also swimming in Lake Michigan yesterday with cousin Matthew. They were brave because the waves were big and constant and even had whitecaps on them. It was cold and rainy but no one complained about that I don't think. Today I told my pharmacy manager and he said I have always told everyone here it goes God, family, friends, work and when your priorities are straight everything works out and I need to go and he is very supportive. I was crying because he has been there and knew Chris. He hugged me supportively and I felt his blessing. Now all I have to do is tell my neighbors who I love dearly.

This is what I wrote my church family:
I was raised in a Christian loving home. I found God for myself in third grade. I haven't always seen or heard God but as I look back He has always been there. It reminds me of the verse that says don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing and you feel so much better when things of good are done in secret instead of made known. I rebelled against God and family in 1999 and didn't come back to Him til fall of 2000. It was a message from God that God spoke through Pastor Hawkins at First Assembly, and it was that the church is a hospital and if we can not have the doors open for the sick and weary then what is our purpose. I needed a hospital spiritually and God used the church body to have me grow closer to Him and even minister to my husband who wasn't saved. God healed my alcoholic husband, a year and a half ago when he became saved, which lead to healing our marriage. As a friend told me through a plaque Don't tell God how big your problems are tell your problems how big your God is. I used to say especially right after my husband died what more God can I handle and why didn't you heal my husband but God has a wonderful purpose and love for us. I now say what more can the enemy give me that will in turn turn into praise to God. Everything as I look back on has turned out in the end as praise to God for walking beside me and sometimes carrying me through my choices. I say this because there was hardships in my marriage and life but the enemy meant them for harm but God used the weakness of our humanwill to strengthen our marriage and even brought my husband to the Lord before he died in February. God used my dedication in staying in my marriage and the trust and care of Pastor Williams to help lead him to the Lord. Pastor Dan help me stay in my marriage and stay accountable as long as I did and was apart of my prayer of friends.Yes, the enemy got control of my husbands humanwill with voices and disease but the Lord has the ultimate victory because my husband loved the Lord. I thank the renew counseling center with Nancy Williams for her faithfulness to help those who need help figuring out life circumstances and basing it on the Word of God. God has been leading my daughter and I these past 6 months with peace and joy of knowing where we are in Christ. I thank Pastor Barry for his commitment to the children's ministry as he helped Alex along especially while losing her father. God is now leading us to take a step of faith and leave our friends and family and move to another state. He has made it peaceful and smooth for this move and I know that Alex and I will be able to grow spiritually and emotionally stronger in Him as we rely on Him more as we begin our new start. God has given us a cousin and his family and some of their friends to be a great support at first there until we can get our own as well as join theirs. We are saddened to be leaving such great friends and family because you all have been so great in words of comfort, support, and prayers. You have been there for us when we needed someone to lean on or get advice or even a hug or a call in the night. I am grateful to you and will pray for you often as God leads me to pray. I love all of you. I would mention everyone and how they have touched our lives but it is too long of a list and not enough time. All this weekend, I have just been singing Standing on the Promises of God my Savior and thinking of the new song we learned a couple weeks ago about your testimony will defeat the enemy. My testimony has defeated the enemy because I am taking action to move spiritually and praising God for all He has done to walk with me even when I went my own way. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is holding His arms out and waiting for you to reach out to Him. I pray that God will guide and direct your path He has planned for you. I plan on staying in touch as much as I can. We will visit when we come to see family. We will miss you.