Wow, I don't know where to begin. It has been a great couple of weeks. God has enlightened me so much. I am starting to love and accept myself as God does. I am getting to know my friends better through facebook. I am enjoying the time with my daughter. We enjoy our rides back home to see family and friends. Do you ever want to be split in two so you can be two places at the same time, well, that is how Alex and I feel. We love it in Indiana and like it here in Iowa as well. I do not like to read but the book by Beth Moore getting out of the pit jumped out at me at Walmart and tonight as I was sick with hardly a voice I read 4 chapters. It is an eye-opener. Well, I am gonna go to bed now. It seems like I have been doing that lately (today). I feel like I am letting the team down but as a wise person said to me tonight, you will be letting the team down if you spread the sickness to them or don't take care of yourself and you are out more than these two days. Pray with me for God's direction as I am waiting at a stand still right now. I am happy and free!!!!

God is an amazing all-powerful God. I am praising Him all the day long. I am praying for His wisdom and understanding in the next step of my journey for this year. I am loving life again and I am working on myself. One area is working on my self esteem and seeing myself how God sees me. I am satisfied in Him and have come to realize He is my All and All. It is a great feeling to know who I am in Him and who I am in me. I haven't allowed anyone define who I am like I used to. I know what I like and want. I am loving Alex as she is getting older and loving me more each day. She is my little angel. I am praying that God will keep me in His arms as I still seek after Him. I pray for a relationship if it is His will. I pray that God will stay ahead of Alex and I. Well, it is almost 2am here so I am gonna get off here. I praise God for you and all the storms and blessings He has given me. This Friday will be 9 months and I am not feeling like I have been so I think it will be a good day. Love to all of you. Keep God first.

Praing the Lord

This weekend was a great weekend. I got to see friends and family. I felt bad because I avoided family mostly so I didn't get sick. I wish there was more time in the weekend as well. Alex enjoyed the pumpkin patch with grandma and Aunt Jen and one of her friends. I ended up picking up my nephew. I beat my friends in both games of bowling. The Sunday service was excellent. It is amazing though that both churches are doing Acts. First Assembly is doing it in morning service and here in Iowa we are on Chapter 9 and it is at night services. Alex and I had a great trip singing praises to God and I was thinking of what to right on wall of facebook and it was gonna be Christ my Solid Rock I stand! However, I am still praising God but I almost hit a deer and God spared that and the lives of Alex and I and everything else that happened. It took 2 car washes to get cleaned from mud and grass but the important thing is that I have Alex still. Still shaken up a little. It was my first deer I have seen while driving. Had to get home so I took 10 minutes to calm down a little and drove with sick stomach feeling and shaking a little still. Made it home though. It is funny because last night we were talking deer and then prior to this incident we called mom and told her about a semi in median and here I am hour from home and a deer comes and I am in median and east bound lane when I should be in westbound.

I am praying for God's direction still. I am glad and thankful for what He has done for me. I am grateful for the healing He has done in my life. I know I don't want to buy a house yet because I don't know what next. I also am scared I will be depressed from emptiness of house and no one to share it with. Plus the estate is still open from this other one. I am not wanting to lose focus on God. I am praying for a godly man that will accept me and Alex for who we are. I want the Lord to be first in all of the lives and I want to know the person before marrying as well. I am singing praises to God who is my ALL in ALL.