I hope you are encouraged by this. I saw this on a friends facebook site and I am so glad I am still singing. Thank God and Praise God today for EVERYTHING He has done and is going to do.

Well, All I have to say is God is Great. Loving eachday that He brings. Looking for cake pictures last night to take to work today I came across this photo. It was taken in Sept of 2000. Do I need to say more? With this picture I leave you with smiles and joys for this weekend.

Thank you for your prayers. Work went well today if you overlook the busyness of a Monday then to top it off the flu shots which the pharmacists gives which stops the whole flow of things. I met with Pastor Epley and his wife Sarah tonight. They gave me scripture and encouragement. I am thinking about what they worked with me on and I am going to try it. It may upset family members but if they truely want what is best for me and Alex they will abide by these boundaries I will be setting.

It doesn't matter who is lying to me or if these things happened. From this point on I am taking action for myself and Alex and if others have problems or issues with others they need to work it out, it is not for me to play peacemaker. I am actually debating on going back to have lunch with these people and giving them in writing the boundaries and expectations I am going to put for myself. I don't know. I like the distance for now.

I think back to when I thought I had everything all in order and being handled and deep down it wasn't. I think only one friend of my core of friends knew about Chris drinking. I focused on others so I didn't have to focus on myself. When I praised God for saving Chris not only from eternal death but alcoholism they were like what we didn't know about his drinking but praise God. I need to be needed again by others but at the same time find myself in Christ.

It was so nice to see the progress in Don and Sarah's home. It is coming along. I still say she is my decorator for when I get a home. (when they are done-eight years right Sarah?)

Alex will probably stay at her friends house across the street til I get home around 9:30 on Thursday. I hope to be able to reach out to that family. I am so thankful to God that she has friends here. She only had Jordan as a friend at Holy Cross unless you count teachers. I work with mostly women and so far no drama :) Everyone here is so nice it reminds me of Mayberry. Strangers at the pumps start conversations while pumping gas.

I want to thank Pastor Epley and Sarah for their time away from their kids and their love for the church family. I thank Don and Sarah for their support and helping with the care of Alex. I thank friends and family for their prayers for us.

I leave you with this...

Here is the words to the song.
Three in the morning,
And I'm still awake,
So I picked up a pen and a page,
And I started writing,
Just what I'd say,
If we were face to face,
I'd tell you just what you mean to me,
I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why your here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,
You said you were hurting,
And I felt your pain in my heart,
I want to tell you,
That I keep on praying,
Love will find you where you are,
I know cause I've already been there,
So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why your here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the LORD and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why your here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say

Good Evening, Wow, what a day! I didn't let the enemy defeat me from going to church but I think that is the only thing today. I didn't get to bed til 4am and then I kept getting called by same person this morning. Skipped Sunday School, had an awful conversation with the person calling. Went and prayed after church, had a calm talk for once with this same person but still don't believe what she says but that is for God to deal with. Helped Don for a couple hours but then became too weary to work. (stress, anger, tiredness, soreness)I am so frustrated on that because I am the one to ask if it would be ok to work on what should be a day of rest and then I couldn't pull myself together enough to work more than what I did and so much needs to get done. Slept a couple hours then church. After church a sweet lady asked Alex and I over to pick out a painting she had done. Alex and I only could agree on one painting which is three roses. It was nice and it fit on a wall I didn't have a picture for yet. I wanted a winter scene to go with the one from Aunt Lois but Alex loves roses and it made her evening. Alex asked me tonight over dinner if dad was still alive would we have had to move? I told her no.

I don't know who to believe right now. I see some things that was brought up that may have happened but not to sure it did. There is a lot of hurt from over the years that have built up and Chris and I kept peace for all or atleast tried to. I am not sure what I am going to do. 1John 3:7 says Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray (wrong way)Christ is all that is right and so to be like Christ we must do what is right. How do I know who is right? or that the information I believe is right is truely right or am I believing wrong truth?

How do I know Chris is with God? I know I felt peace about his death but tonight we talked about sinning and we all battle sin. In the second half of 1John 3:15 it says no murderers have eternal life. Chris took his life which makes him a murderer to himself so therefore he didn't have God in him.

I meet with Pastor Epley tomorrow evening, I am not liking it right now because I am feeling that I need to keep quiet and to myself so the despair or tiredness doesn't flow onto others. It has been 7 and 1/2 months so it shouldn't be a burden anymore. This church family is great, they all care for another but who can I trust and how do I know what is ok to share? I knew back home who and when to share.