Today we went to Waterloo to get Alex's glasses adjusted from when I got her new frames when I was still in Indiana and she was not with me to. They have a store here. We also tried to locate the Assembly of God church that her children's pastor told me about before leaving.(He is from Iowa as well and will be at church camp out here next summer) We ate lunch at Carlos and it wasn't the same. I miss my Carlos family. Before leaving today we called Mrs. Hoffman (Alex's first grade teacher) and she said she was going to give us a few more days then email mom for info. and we called the one friend Alex had in school but Jordan wasn't home nor her mom Gina. So we left msg on answering machine.

I fell asleep this afternoon after getting home. I woke up around 5pm and Sarah was on voicemail saying if I wanted I could help Don that they were done relaxing for their anniversary. So I worked 3 hours with him. I plan to go after church to help again since there is a lot of work to be done by next week and it is suppose to rain Monday and Tuesday.

I bought two books today at the Christian bookstore. One Jennifer recommended and that one is Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson and the second one I saw next to it and sounds like I need it and that one is Victory over the darkness by same author. Bondage one is about overcoming negative thoughts, irrational feelings, and habitual sins. The other one is realizing the power of your identity in Christ.

I failed my commitment for bible study. I am trying not to go out and eat at restuarants for the duration of the study and I have failed. I am going to try again not to. I am not going to let this set back discourage me from trying to do it.

P.S.
I am having quiet time with God and what do you know, day three of the Daniel homework, it talks about training yourself in godliness. In 1 Timothy it says don't follow foolish stories that disagree with God's truth (cousin) and training body helps in some ways but serving God helps in everyway and brings blessings in life and future. See, Satan wanted me to feel quilty about my procrastination but today is the day I needed this. God knew that. Romans 6:19 You must give yourselves to be slaves of goodness then you will live only of God. Help me, Lord. I am weak in my natural self. Help me not to be all about what I am going through. Help me to turn to you before others.

Good Evening, It has been for the most part a great day. I got home from work and Mackenna was having fun with Alex. As I was saying goodbye to her one of Alex's school mates came over from across the street with siblings and mom and wondered if she could go to the game tonight with them. I allowed her to go and she used her allowance to go since I had no cash and I was going to spend the night with her but this left opportunity to talk to my sister privately about things and also my neighbor in Indiana was on facebook and we chatted for about a half hour. Don is still mowing my yard to keep it nice and they haven't seen anyone come by the house yet. I am liking it here other than missing people I love. I have decided to just delete the voicemails before listening to them for now so I can focus on God fully. Todays was one of the worst ones. I am feeling right now that I could care less if I have anymore contact with her rest of my life, but deep down I love her and she and her husband has done a lot to help Chris and I this past year. I can hear the announcer here at my house from the game and my doors and windows are closed. It reminds me of home because Northside did the same.

I got my Iowa license today for pharmacy in the mail. :) I am officially an Iowaian as far as work, have to wait a couple more weeks for drivers license and plates for cars.

I saw Sarah for a few moments today and she looked great. I kinda envy(good kind) her when she has makeup and dressy clothes on. Hope you had a great day, you deserve a great day.

Ok, since I am alone now I better get off and get my butt in gear. I am going to spend alone time with God and my bible study. Funny, I just wrote this and phone rings for cable. I need to say NO and I did. Then call waiting rang and it was mom.

I chose to change the picture at top of blog to this one because Alex didn't want to be the focus everywhere. So I chose this one because Chris hand painted it and it was for Alex in her room and it reminds me that God is near in these storms. Bless Sarah's heart, she came in this morning around 10am and sat on the bed til I got up, she was not going to let me off of walking today with her. We did walk and it was a great time. I saw where her uncle lives and rest of Dike I hadn't seen. I also met a gentleman who lives in an apartment that her uncle owns tonight at work. Work went well and I am enjoying the friendliness/patience that they have for me here.

Tomorrow is Don and Sarah's 11th anniversary and I pray that they have an enjoyable weekend together. They are a lovely couple who sets a great example of a marriage that is based on God's truth and compassion.


I have been trying to sleep with the rings on my right hand instead of left to ease into letting go and tonight I am trying to do so again and see about doing during the day a little bit. I think if I start letting go that maybe the vivid dreams will end. I don't know. I also today got a disturbing phone call from a certain cousin and she still hasn't got the picture that I have moved. She is still full of deceit and accusations and manipulation. I have decided to ignore her and follow guidance of my counselor that Chris had no contact with family prior to Alex being 1 1/2 so I should follow his lead.

Good Evening, Work went well today, not so many flu shots today. Alex is missing Indiana, she asked when will we go visit her friends at church and g'ma, g'pa, and Jennifer,Bart, Ken. Shocking she said nothing about his side. I found out tonight that this spirit week at school revolves around Michael Jackson so I am no longer allowing Alex to dress up for the days. I do not think he is or was a great role model. If we can't bring God in schools I don't think they should bring wrongful people for our kids to idolize. Don made a good point of one of his co-workers said, why not base a week on Presidents or Thomas Edison or people like that. Plus, since when is high school brought to elementary? We didn't do homecoming weeks til 9th grade and it was silly things like backwards day, pjs, inside out day, etc.

Wow, the enemy is really working, Alex isn't worrying about herself, she is doing things she knows is unpleasing to God and thinks it was ok because others seem to be doing it. I am still not feeling at peace about these sleepless night vivid scenes and the enemy has me feeling guilty because I asked for prayer tonight.

Alex is excited for Friday, McCanna(sp?) is babysitting after school til I get home around 6pm since it is Don and Sarah's Anniversary. CONGRATULATIONS, both of you on working together and honoring God in your marriage. We love you and appreciate your help and wisdom.

I made it through the day. I think I managed to get close to 3 hours sleep last night not all together. I was non-stop at work with the flu shots and then afterwards I went to get Alex but before heading home helped bring branches up for Don as he prepares to get his part of the landscaping done before the excavator comes which is working them in so they will have grass in spring. The last load I did I over did it. My back and shoulders are so tight now and I am so awake. Thank you Jennifer for the verses and prayer you sent me it means a lot to me.

Today was picture day and tomorrow is dress another culture day. So I went to garage and got a Hawaiian shirt of Chris' for Alex to wear tomorrow. I am praying the girls don't get lice, I can't deal with that right now as well as what I am having on my plate now.

The song Savior Please kept playing today for me. Along with I Will Rise those songs kept me going in February. I am still pressing on and will continue to do so.

Anybody know any verses to get the enemy out of your mind so I can sleep. Atleast twice a week I sleep but then wake up every 2 to 10 minutes because I see different ways of someone I love or loved take their life in my beautiful old home. I don't understand because it didn't happen at my home. I don't know how much longer I can go without sleep and maintain peacefulness with Alex. I already get snippy easily. I know I don't sleep well to begin with at night since I was a kid and now it is about 3 hours a night I get good sleep. I don't like it that I dislike Chris all the time now. This also makes me worry about others I now know have this same illness he had that they told me either when he died or since that they will do the same and I actually see them sometimes as well. Why did Adam and Eve have to sin? Why does the enemy get to your humanwill?(I know so we can have eternal life) Why didn't God give the strength to Chris that he needed to get through this battle? He was doing great in building his love for God!I do not like seeing him dressed in his best suit and different ways of how you can make yourself die. It is very low of you satan. I just wrote positive things yesterday and I am praising and trusting God. This is one of the reasons why I left Indiana, I thought it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't stay around to see the house or my love ones I see.

Sure way to a Happy day

Happiness is something we create in our mind, it is not something you search for and so seldom find. It's just waking up and beginning the day by counting our blessings and kneeling to pray. It's giving up thoughts that breed discontent and accepting what comes as a gift heaven-sent. It's giving up wishing for things we have not and making the best of whatever we've got. It's knowing that life is determined for us and pursuing our tasks without fret, fume. or fuss. For it is by completing what God gives us to do that we find real contentment and happiness, too. (Helen Steiner Rice)

Whatever you do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father through Him. Colossians 3:17

I am trying to keep my commitment to Christ. I am trying to get motivated. I am trying to do my homework. I need to do it. I want to do it. I just need to do it. I need to stop being a procrastinator and just do it. Bible study is a week away and I haven't started the homework. Pray for me. I need a answer key or someone preaching to me as I take notes. I don't like doing this on my own, what if I misinterpret or read it wrong?

Good evening, Happy Grandparents Day to all grandparents. This morning the girls and I made a cake for after church tonight to celebrate Don and Sarah's 11th anniversary on the 18th which is this Friday. Trish who is a sister to my cousin Wendi brought ice cream to have with it. It was kinda neat because I chose a butterfly and this morning there was a catapiller on my tire. I decided the antannaes are for the year. We split up the cake to decorate. Alex had top right, Marlene top left, Delphia bottom left and I was bottom right and middle.

Jennifer got Alex a Hannah Montanna wig and the girls loved it. Delphia wanted pictures of everyone wearing it but the older girls wouldn't allow themselves to do what Delphia wanted. I had a talk about including her and the weekend went better so here is "Hannah Montana"

Well, I have to say the one word to describe me this year is tired! Hope you have a great week. Love, LouAnn