Wow, it is hard to believe that it has been a year since Chris went to the hospital before dying. This past year has had its ups and downs but God has been His faithful and loving self and walked beside us or carried us through them all. As we come near to Chris' birthday on Jan 28th I can't help to stop and reflect on our unique love for one another. The last couple months have been great and I find myself as I am having to deal with things again as we near the closure of the estate and doing his income taxes again and remembering all I had gone through a year ago, I am crying a lot more these days, usually on the way to work like I did then. I am also probably gonna have a hard time celebrating mom's birthday because it was 2 days after her b-day he chose to die. I know he wasn't thinking about that or he would have waited. He always wanted the best for all and was all about love and fun.

What Love Means to Me!
Love is a journey and not a destination. Thank you for our journey together and still walking in our journey. Real love is more than beautiful flowers and sweet words, more than candlelight dinners or romantic walks in the park. Real love is understanding through the difficult times, caring past the disagreements. It's laughing together when things are good or laughing together to keep from crying when things couldn't seem to go more wrong. Real love shows compassion and compromise... and forgives and forgives and forgives. Real love is everything we share together. Because to me real love is and always will be, you. Real love is knowing Christ in a personal way like we do. I love you and will always. Keep sending your love down because we both know I need it to keep going. I love you. Happy Birthday sweetie.

I am finally ok with not having anyone else. I like it out here in Iowa, the fact that I have a great job that you help me get and great neighbors like back home, a roof over our heads and the amazing love of our daughter. You will be so proud of her. I also think you would be mostly proud of me too except for getting a tattoo 2 days before our anniversary to have you walk beside me when I know you are and really didn't need a symbol. I wanted to get a symbol for hunnybunny but didn't want a honey pot and bunny so chose a teddybear holding a heart that is not filled in completely because my heart is no longer complete. I have 4 small hearts coming from it that represents 1. you 2. my two grandmas 3. my 4th grade best friend that her dad killed her the day of Christmas program which we found out right before the program 4. all the loved ones that had gone before me.

Love Always, Your Hunnybunny