Today we got up and went to church. Church was a great encouragement. We sang Victory in Jesus and Lord light the fire again and others.
We socialized a little more with others today afterwards. I have discovered that there is atleast 3 other women who have lost their spouses and understanding the void and hurt and anger as I am going through. One of them it has been 8 years but God also has blessed her with a new spouse. I am happy with just being alone with Alex or finding someone. I would like to find someone to love again and have another child. I enjoyed my marriage and want to have that joy and happiness again. Chris told me he wants me to move on and be happy again before he left this life. It is so amazing how I feel his encouragement and support today as I did when he was alive. I miss him but feeling and living with his pain I am glad he is where he is, no more pain. I couldn't ask for much more, I had his love and friendship and support. God gave me my miracle of his salvation, healing of marriage, and strength to help him fight longer. I can't be sad about that because He has given me alot to be thankful for and witnessed some great things in my life through this journey.